The Strife

Have you ever felt torn between duty that calls to you and what you would really like to do? Often whichever path you take is always at the cost of the other…

Closest and perhaps the things that have mattered to me most always have been surrounded by this dilemma. And recent events have again brought me face to facewith another battle, another strife. For acceptance.

To make people about whom you care understand that this is important to you. Fighting for support? No, that can’t be done. Support can’t be won. May be a grudging acceptance. But at this stage for me that would suffice.

Following one’s passion doesn’t mean that you forget responsibilities. Just because you might be absent minded doesn’t mean that you are callous. Everyone has their own space to develop, to work, to recreate and to rejuvenate. I have been incessantly trying to make some people understand that by saying all this, I don’t disrespect them. But rather ask them to recognize me as a cognitive individual. But then convincing the dearest is the hardest. Those who believe they have your best interests in their hearts and mind. Those, for whom we are still kids.

How hard is it to cross the line of a teenager to an adult? I have known being eighteen doesn’t make you an adult all of a sudden. Yes, I do believe I am not a kid exactly. Neither am I an adult. I don’t have the experience they have. But I still am trying to weave my own path. Trying something new is tough but trust me a bit. Allow me to make my mistakes. I am not stupid, not deluded. I am ready to take the risk. Let me learn.

I require the freedom to breathe; let my imagination fly, binge in highs which I am sure to get when I touch my passions…. When I work with things closest to my heart and soul.

I haven’t forgotten my responsibilities and the practicalities of life really. If even I be free for a moment, allow me to return to my passion. Are you scared that the lure of such pure pleasure would mislead me… if you stop me on that ground, I shall forever be compromising on my happiness.


I have seen people compromising for what they call the greater good. And I also have done that only for the past 15 years of my cognitive life now. And in both cases I have seen it just breeds frustration and anger. At yourself and at the misunderstandings… And then, the greater good doesn’t exist because such negativity lays its foundation. To what purpose then all the sacrifice?

I am not undermining any value system. But people shouldn’t suppress their dreams. No one can really let go of them and they keep returning over and over again. Each time you push them away trying to rationally behave, you just end up a bit more frustrated. A bit more hurt…

I have to yet carve my path. But I am working on that. Trying to break orthodox ideas, trying to realize what I feel. Trying to do many things. I know the risk is high but a will and a determination to succeed proceeds when you have such longing coursing through you.

When everything else blurs and just your goal, your objective shines in your eyes. It’s almost like the carrot on the stick. But this time it’s achievable.

Yes, strife and battle will exist. I shall have to keep on trying. It’s the only thing I can do.